The Wrong Judgments

I think it’s time to postulate some thoughts based on my recent experiences.

Many people judge. And judge so easily by not giving them the time to people to explain or improve themselves.

Me too.

But we should know that even though judging is so easy, less easy is to correct our judgments or, better, understand that no judgment is correct.

We are equipped with a finite mind that never will be able to comprehend the vastity of any human being.

What we can do is vent upon something or someone unless it gives rise to a war.

For this reason, many people keep their judgements secret because they cause conflict and, above all, because they are usually limited and wrong.

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Gaining Free Will

There are so many wrong sides and aspects of reality, so those who even aspire or hope that something gets better should be considered crazy.
If humanity cannot cure itself, who can do it instead?

My answer is to do what I freely want wherever it leads me. But this raises a bunch of questions:

• What do I freely want to do?
• Why do I want what I want?
• Where it leads me?
• Am I free?

These questions lean on the mystery of free will. For many centuries philosophers and theologists have tried to answer these questions.

Everyone has underlined some particular aspect of the issue and faced it in a specific manner. Still, there is no absolute and definitive answer, we can debate as long as we want, but the answer is absolutely personal and subjective. Because the concept of free will implies the idea of free thoughts. And if a man is not allowed to think in a way he judges as correct, he is not free at all.

But to have free thoughts, it’s needed to free our minds and heart from many biases. But removing biases is the most challenging task.

Often, it requires us to strike the fundamental of our being and give up all our superstitions.

For these reasons, we need to support each other. This is a goal we have to achieve collectively, despite race, religion, beliefs or nationality

The real success

Do you think that a rich person is inevitably successful?

You can be the richest person on the planet but if:

– you don’t have time for your passions
– nobody cares or loves you
– you’re surrounded by people only for sake of selfish interests
– you are rude to your subordinates
– you’re strong with the weak ones
– you’re weak with the strong ones
– you do a job you hate
– you cheat and steal
– you care about your image above everything

I think is much more worthwhile when:

– you have time to do things you love
– someone loves and cares about you
– you could have fewer friends but the important ones
– you are kind and patient with people even if you’re in power
– you stand against injustices
– maybe you don’t earn a lot of money but you have what you need and do a job you love
– you’re an honest person
– you are on a path of personal growth and care only for things that really matter

The importance of true leaders/L’importanza dei veri leader

I allow myself to point out one thing: in my opinion, the real leaders are not the people who drag you through their charisma, I have seen several of them but in the end, they were slaves of their self-reflection, and led all their followers, slaves of their charisma, towards an equally miserable destiny, all slaves of their own image.

The true leader is the one who leads you on the path of freedom and self-discovery, through a good example, it is above all because he is the first to be a free person who has discovered himself.

This latter category of people may or may not have charisma, but that doesn’t mean he is a real leader.

Many people believe that leaders should drag others towards different objectives. But leaders, leading towards freedom and self-discovery, help to transform society and companies into a more inclusive, beautiful-based, meaningful and fulfilling environment. And, above all, True leaders create other leaders.

Italian Version/Versione Italiana:

Mi permetto di sottolineare una cosa: secondo me i veri leader non sono le persone che ti trascinano per carisma, ne ho visti diversi ma alla fine erano schiavi del riflesso di see stessi, e guidavano tutti i loro seguaci, schiavi del loro carisma, verso un altrettanto miserabile destino, tutti schiavi della propria immagine.

Il vero leader è colui che ti guida sulla strada della libertà e della scoperta di sé, attraverso il buon esempio, è soprattutto perché è il primo ad essere una persona libera e che ha scoperto se stesso.

Quest’ultima categoria di persone può avere o meno carisma, ma ciò non significa che sia invariabilmente un leader.

Molte persone credono che i leader dovrebbero trascinare gli altri verso obiettivi diversi. Ma i leader, guidando verso la libertà e la scoperta di sé, aiutano a trasformare la società e le aziende in un ambiente più inclusivo, bello, significativo e appagante E sopratutto i veri leader, creano altri leader.

I still believe

The world is collapsing. Under the weight of pollution, intolerance, selfishness and violence.

Strangely and I don’t know why I still believe in people. I think that people will understand the repairing value of love, freedom and pardon. But, at the moment, we carry the burden of our heavy legacy. Our mind is obfuscated, our heart is insensitive, our instinct is too disconnected from who we really are, and our spirituality is dead or too utilitarian and these make our relationship meaningless. So we have to fill this gap, we should recover our real selves from this heavy burden that we carry on our souls and relearn to relate to each other, always honestly, but with compassion, love and pardon.

What binds us shouldn’t only be selfish interests but mainly the interest to know each other, to deepen the relationships in order to obtain a better understanding of ourselves and the world surrounding us. This is a risky activity that puts us out of our comfort zone. This is an enterprise. But the action is worth it.

When we eventually reach this awareness we should start to treat each other with the needed care and this in the last instance leads us toward love. We’ll see, thanks to a better understanding of the world, that we are all humans in the same boat. That’s we all have fragilities, broken sides and flaws. With no exclusion.

But this process has to happen naturally. No one can be forced to acquire knowledge against their will. Nor especially to love.

I think the world is ready to acquire the awareness that honest, and not forced, kindness is the only way to reach the goal of peace and prosperity. We are people and it’s supposed we should live in harmony. That object is not unreachable but by pacific discussions and debates we could improve and this will make us succeed.

Sometimes is harsh necessary?

I think that to be sweet is a very good option. Being patient and kind is a great skill that we should acquire. But sometimes reality is harsh. And we should communicate this harsh part of reality too. We don’t live in a perfect world, where everyone is honest, kind, or altruist. Besides people often refuge in a utopic, ego-centric world and they consider themselves too important.

If you care about someone, you need to shake this aspect of reality or human behavior sometimes. If you make people think that they are too important or that everything will work fine even though wrong behavior, you aren’t caring about that person anymore.

We need to speak the truth sometimes and this truth is often, inevitably, expressed brutally. It’s very difficult not getting things personally when you are communicating the truth, (or at the least, “your truth”) to other people. Often conflicts arise. But these conflicts are necessary for us and other people to grow.

I think a great objective I can put in my life at the moment is to be assertive avoiding as much as possible being brutal. And above all, I shouldn’t get things personally and always remember I could be wrong. In this way, I can improve myself and the people I’m connected with.

Teamwork

There are people that think that developing is a standalone job and every developer should figure out everything on their own. But, from my point of view, these people miss an important part of a developer’s job: teamwork. In fact, when you experience real and inclusive teamwork what you learn is that teamwork is made up of continuous debating that leads to learning a lot from each other every day.

Besides, there are many other aspects we should consider and learn when we come to teamwork:

First, succeeding to be kind is always a good achievement and it’s not easy at all, but human relationships are very important inside teams and the price to pay for a rude contact is to ruin such kinds of relationships. Besides, there are people that say that speaking the truth can ruin relationships, but this is not totally correct. The fact is that it depends on the way you say the truth. Many times, what we lack is the ability to speak and truth (a to be assertive) in a clear and respectful way. Instead often when we come to speak the truth we became nervous and so we appear unrespectful. This is an important skill that should be learned.

Second (but related to the first point), the ability to succeed inside a team lies in the ability to build strong and deep connections and relationships. And in order to reach such a goal, we need to communicate. Speaking could be a good means to communicate but it’s not the only one. What we really need in order to communicate (even though it could seem unrelated) is a sincere desire to contribute to the general wellness of the person, company, community, or institution we want to connect with. And in order to achieve such a goal we need to engage in a personal development path.

At last but not least, surely teams where we land are not perfect, surely they could have a lot of flames but we should think we’re not helpless. We can give a great contribution to improving the team. I know, it’s not easy but what a team needs is dreamers and people with purpose, and if you are one of them even though you could encounter a lot of issues (they could be fixed with patience, humility, and kindness) you will succeed. On the rest, every single step, even if the smallest, is however a step towards improvement.

However, we should keep in mind, that if the team doesn’t fit with us, we could leave and find another team that better fits with us. We should have always cleared our purpose and checked them against the team’s purpose but this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give our contribution to the team we are now.

Teams are made of people, and people are, in the last instance, what we should care about.