Lyfestile, Negative Post, Positive Post, Relationship, Team

Sometimes is harsh necessary?

I think that to be sweet is a very good option. Being patient and kind is a great skill that we should acquire. But sometimes reality is harsh. And we should communicate this harsh part of reality too. We don’t live in a perfect world, where everyone is honest, kind, or altruist. Besides people often refuge in a utopic, ego-centric world and they consider themselves too important.

If you care about someone, you need to shake this aspect of reality or human behavior sometimes. If you make people think that they are too important or that everything will work fine even though wrong behavior, you aren’t caring about that person anymore.

We need to speak the truth sometimes and this truth is often, inevitably, expressed brutally. It’s very difficult not getting things personally when you are communicating the truth, (or at the least, “your truth”) to other people. Often conflicts arise. But these conflicts are necessary for us and other people to grow.

I think a great objective I can put in my life at the moment is to be assertive avoiding as much as possible being brutal. And above all, I shouldn’t get things personally and always remember I could be wrong. In this way, I can improve myself and the people I’m connected with.

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Lyfestile, Team

Teamwork

There are people that think that developing is a standalone job and every developer should figure out everything on their own. But, from my point of view, these people miss an important part of a developer’s job: teamwork. In fact, when you experience real and inclusive teamwork what you learn is that teamwork is made up of continuous debating that leads to learning a lot from each other every day.

Besides, there are many other aspects we should consider and learn when we come to teamwork:

First, succeeding to be kind is always a good achievement and it’s not easy at all, but human relationships are very important inside teams and the price to pay for a rude contact is to ruin such kinds of relationships. Besides, there are people that say that speaking the truth can ruin relationships, but this is not totally correct. The fact is that it depends on the way you say the truth. Many times, what we lack is the ability to speak and truth (a to be assertive) in a clear and respectful way. Instead often when we come to speak the truth we became nervous and so we appear unrespectful. This is an important skill that should be learned.

Second (but related to the first point), the ability to succeed inside a team lies in the ability to build strong and deep connections and relationships. And in order to reach such a goal, we need to communicate. Speaking could be a good means to communicate but it’s not the only one. What we really need in order to communicate (even though it could seem unrelated) is a sincere desire to contribute to the general wellness of the person, company, community, or institution we want to connect with. And in order to achieve such a goal we need to engage in a personal development path.

At last but not least, surely teams where we land are not perfect, surely they could have a lot of flames but we should think we’re not helpless. We can give a great contribution to improving the team. I know, it’s not easy but what a team needs is dreamers and people with purpose, and if you are one of them even though you could encounter a lot of issues (they could be fixed with patience, humility, and kindness) you will succeed. On the rest, every single step, even if the smallest, is however a step towards improvement.

However, we should keep in mind, that if the team doesn’t fit with us, we could leave and find another team that better fits with us. We should have always cleared our purpose and checked them against the team’s purpose but this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give our contribution to the team we are now.

Teams are made of people, and people are, in the last instance, what we should care about.

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