Thought’s about contemporary world

Recently I have heard people debate about suicide of young people, here in Italy. There are many different opinions: those blaming society and those the victims.

I think that the correct answer resides in between the two opposites. Today society is too consumer oriented, too valueless.

People don’t find in it reasons to hope that it could improve. But is it true?

I think our society is migrating from the old to the new, making victims. But this has happened, accordingly to history, to every society big change. Besides there are things like ties between Occidental society and the rest of the world that complicate further the things. So more than blaming society I would blame history but history is not blamable.

On the other side, a singular person of today world has their own responsibilities. And even them sprout from ancient historical reasons.

So we shouldn’t look for someone to blame, but we should look for a set of solutions. That we can only implement this if we work together in trust. And these solutions start from the free dialogue capacity we should have. But we are in a moment in history where if people can’t speak freely to each other, they won’t find any solutions.

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Teamwork

There are people that think that developing is a standalone job and every developer should figure out everything on their own. But, from my point of view, these people miss an important part of a developer’s job: teamwork. In fact, when you experience real and inclusive teamwork what you learn is that teamwork is made up of continuous debating that leads to learning a lot from each other every day.

Besides, there are many other aspects we should consider and learn when we come to teamwork:

First, succeeding to be kind is always a good achievement and it’s not easy at all, but human relationships are very important inside teams and the price to pay for a rude contact is to ruin such kinds of relationships. Besides, there are people that say that speaking the truth can ruin relationships, but this is not totally correct. The fact is that it depends on the way you say the truth. Many times, what we lack is the ability to speak and truth (a to be assertive) in a clear and respectful way. Instead often when we come to speak the truth we became nervous and so we appear unrespectful. This is an important skill that should be learned.

Second (but related to the first point), the ability to succeed inside a team lies in the ability to build strong and deep connections and relationships. And in order to reach such a goal, we need to communicate. Speaking could be a good means to communicate but it’s not the only one. What we really need in order to communicate (even though it could seem unrelated) is a sincere desire to contribute to the general wellness of the person, company, community, or institution we want to connect with. And in order to achieve such a goal we need to engage in a personal development path.

At last but not least, surely teams where we land are not perfect, surely they could have a lot of flames but we should think we’re not helpless. We can give a great contribution to improving the team. I know, it’s not easy but what a team needs is dreamers and people with purpose, and if you are one of them even though you could encounter a lot of issues (they could be fixed with patience, humility, and kindness) you will succeed. On the rest, every single step, even if the smallest, is however a step towards improvement.

However, we should keep in mind, that if the team doesn’t fit with us, we could leave and find another team that better fits with us. We should have always cleared our purpose and checked them against the team’s purpose but this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give our contribution to the team we are now.

Teams are made of people, and people are, in the last instance, what we should care about.

Building Deep Relationships

It’s pretty fast to build relationships that stay on the surface. But surface-laying relationships are not satisfactory and leave us with a deep sense of loneliness. Besides, in order to feel connected and in order to feel that you belong to a community you have to build deep relationships. It’s not easy for many reasons and two of them are: first when you try to build a deep relationship you need to get involved, and this involvement means you have to engage with people in some way; second, when you try to build a deep relationship many people try to take advantage of you so this makes every one of us staying on the defensive, on both sides.

How can we overcome such difficulties? They are very challenging.

Surely, they don’t fade away overnight. We need time to build such kinds of relationships. Surely, we need to find a reason because, as formerly said, you have to get involved (and so engaged), this means you cannot build a deep relationship with everybody. The problem with this second point is that usually, you know if you would deep connection with someone only after you have just started the process (because you need some interaction time to know someone better).

I don’t have a solution, everyone faces this challenge as they wish or can. On my side, the only thing I can do is to be as honest and sincere as possible. And even if this can seem simplistic in reality this is a big challenge. Because many people don’t deserve or/and aren’t able to deal with my sincerity. And I need to understand to which people I can be sincere.

But when you succeed to build such kinds of relationships, it’s a great goal. Not only because great communities are deep-relationship-based communities, but mainly because that connections are very meaningful for you and you can count on them.

Aber Falls, Rhaeadr-fawr and Rhaeadr-bach by Jeremy Bolwell is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0