Community, Lyfestile, Relationship, Team

Sincerity and formality

It is not possible to be 100% ourselves at all times. Our environment, experiences, and the people around us constantly influence and shape us. Additionally, certain social norms and expectations affect how we behave and communicate. However, it’s essential to strive for authenticity and to be true to ourselves as much as possible. By being aware of these influences and making conscious choices. Can we ensure that our true selves are represented in our interactions with others?

Finding the balance between formality and sincerity can be difficult, but there are some things you can do to achieve this goal:

  1. Know your audience: it is crucial to understand who you are talking to and to adapt your language and tone accordingly.
  2. Be yourself: avoid being someone you’re not to appear more formal. Sincerity and genuineness are much more appreciated.
  3. Use appropriate language: choose the right words for the context and for your audience.
  4. Show empathy: put yourself in other people’s shoes and try understanding how they may feel. This will help you communicate more effectively.
  5. Be flexible: Adapting your communication style based on the situation is vital in finding the balance between formality and sincerity.

Remember that finding the balance is continuous and requires practice and experimentation.

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AI, Community, Community, Positive Post, Relationship, Team

Making effective criticisms

A more critical aspect of being a good person is the ability to recognize when one’s actions are not in line with their values and to take steps to make amends. This could involve apologizing to those harmed, taking responsibility for one’s actions, and consciously attempting to change one’s behaviour in the future. Above all, it’s essential to be honest with yourself about your own behaviour and to take a critical look at your actions, being open to constructive criticism from others and trying to learn from it.

Constructive criticism is the feedback that aims to help the person improve their behaviour, skills or attitude. Some traits of constructive criticism are:

  • Specific: It addresses a particular behaviour or issue rather than general or vague statements.
  • Objective: It is based on observable facts and evidence rather than personal opinions or emotions.
  • Respectful: It is delivered in a respectful and non-judgmental manner, without personal attacks or insults.
  • Helpful: It provides specific suggestions or recommendations for improvement rather than just pointing out what is wrong.
  • Timely: It is delivered at an appropriate time and in a proper setting, rather than waiting too long or bringing it up at an inappropriate time.
  • Focused on improvement: It aims to help the person improve rather than just criticizing for the sake of it.

It’s important to note that receiving constructive criticism can be difficult, and it may be hard for the person to hear it. It’s also vital for the person giving the complaint to be aware of their own tone of voice and body language and to be sensitive to the person’s feelings.

It’s important to remember that constructive criticism is an essential tool for personal and professional growth; it can help to identify areas that need improvement and to guide the person towards positive change.

It can be difficult for some people to give constructive criticism to others, even if they can receive it themselves. There are a few reasons why this might be the case:

  • Empathy: Giving constructive criticism can be difficult because it can be hard to separate one’s feelings from those of the criticised person. If you empathize with the person and understand how they might feel when receiving criticism, it can be hard to bring yourself to deliver it.
  • Fear of Conflict: Some people may avoid giving constructive criticism because they fear it will lead to conflict or hurt feelings.
  • Lack of skills: Some people may not have the skills or knowledge to give constructive criticism. They may not know how to phrase things helpfully and respectfully, or they may not know how to give criticism without hurting the other person.
  • Fear of rejection: Some people may avoid giving constructive criticism because they fear that the other person will reject it or will not be open to it.

You can build your confidence by giving constructive criticism to address this gap. You can practice with people you trust, like friends or family members, or role-play with colleagues or friends. You can also try to educate yourself on how to give constructive criticism respectfully and helpfully and consider the other person’s perspective and feelings when giving it. You can also try to focus on helping the other person improve rather than avoiding conflict or rejection.

It’s also important to remember that giving and receiving criticism is a skill that can be learned and developed over time with practice and patience.

Understandably, your mood can affect the way you give criticism. Here are a few things you can do to address this issue:

  • Timing: Try to give criticism when you are calm and composed rather than when you are stressed or upset.
  • Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing or meditation before giving criticism to help you stay calm and focused.
  • Be prepared: Plan what you want to say and anticipate any potential objections or reactions the other person might have.
  • Be specific about what the other person did and how it affected you. Avoid generalizations and use “I” statements instead of “you” statements.
  • Be non-judgmental: Avoid using judgmental language or tone of voice when giving criticism. Instead, focus on the facts and on specific behaviours you would like to see change.
  • Be open-minded: Be open to hearing the other person’s perspective and be willing to consider their feelings and experiences when giving criticism.
  • Be supportive: Let the other person know that you care about them and are there to support them as they work on improving.

It’s also important to remember that giving criticism can be difficult, and it’s OK to take a step back and rephrase your words if you feel that your mood is affecting how you’re giving the criticism. It’s also OK to ask for some time to cool down or return to the conversation later.

Taking care of your own well-being and practising self-compassion are also essential. It’s OK to make mistakes and not get them right every time. It is necessary to learn from them and keep trying to improve.

If you give criticism and later discover that you were wrong, it’s vital to acknowledge your mistake and apologize to the person you criticized. Here are a few things you can do:

  • Take responsibility: Acknowledge your mistake and take responsibility for it. Avoid making excuses or blaming others.
  • Apologize: Apologize to the person you criticized for any harm or discomfort your criticism may have caused.
  • Make amends: Offer to make amends, such as helping to correct any damage or confusion your criticism may have caused.
  • Learn from it: Reflect on what you learned from the experience and consider how you can avoid making the same mistake in the future.

It’s also important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s not a personal failure but an opportunity to learn and grow. It’s also important to be open to feedback and to admit when you are wrong.

It’s also a good practice to try to understand the other person’s point of view and to be willing to consider their feelings and experiences when giving criticism. This can help you to avoid making mistakes in the future and to offer criticism more effectively and compassionately.

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AI, Community, Lyfestile, Positive Post, Relationship, Team, thoughts

Reasons for Arrogant thoughts

If you frequently think other people’s feelings and thoughts are stupid, it may indicate that you tend to devalue others’ perspectives and experiences. This can harm relationships and create barriers to effective communication and understanding.

There can be a few reasons why you might be thinking this way:

  • Lack of Empathy: When you lack empathy, it’s harder for you to understand and relate to others’ feelings and experiences.
  • Arrogance: Some people believe that their way of thinking is the only correct one and tend to think that other people’s thoughts and feelings are inferior.
  • Insecurity: Sometimes, when people feel insecure about their thoughts and feelings, they may devalue others’ perspectives to feel better about themselves.
  • Lack of exposure: People with limited exposure to diversity may struggle to understand others’ perspectives and label them stupid.

It’s important to remember that everyone has unique perspectives and experiences, which can be valid and valuable, even if they differ from yours. You can work on developing empathy and humility and trying to understand other people’s perspectives. You can also try to expose yourself to different cultures, people and ideas and practice active listening and open-mindedness.

It’s also important to remember that thinking this way is unhealthy and can negatively impact your relationships and well-being. If this is something you find yourself struggling with, it may be helpful to seek the help of a therapist or counsellor who can help you understand and address the underlying causes of this behaviour.

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Relationship, Team

Kindly yourselves

Inside ourselves, there are demons, the crazy ones. What happens if you unleash them?

Unleashing out demons means letting yourself be your authentic self.

Are you, who are so strong to speak loud against your neighbour, able to reveal publicly who you really are without masks?

Please, explicit yourself. Don’t be afraid or do you wanna arrive to the death unprepared?

Without facing the world for who we are there is no growth.

Are you strong enough to be the authentic self and at the same time be kind?

Or will you lose yourself in the river of eternity?

And remember, being yourself kindly amount other people is the very best satisfaction one can ever feel.

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Community, Lyfestile, Positive Post, Team

Please, trust someone.

I know that is a best practice not to trust only words but to base our trust upon others’ actions.

It seems easy in words. However, when we try to apply this simple principle we found ourselves overwhelmed by nasty thoughts about how, when, and why to treat people.

So our fire door to escape from becomes our unextinguishable sense of selfishness ending up not trusting anybody ever.

But how can we succeed to have nurturing relationships with others without being exploited?

This is a mystery. What I know is that if you don’t trust anyone your life is highly miserable.

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Community, Lyfestile, Positive Post, Team

The power to heal the world

It doesn’t exist space for love in this world. And when I say love I don’t mean love between partners but love as love your neighbour.

Everyone pursues only their personal interests and this seems normal.

There is no space for sincere concerns about the human condition of a person. Everything is ascribable to some kind of interest.

Nobody sacrifices themselves in spite of others for the sake of pure love.

Are these sentences proper? Or is there space for love in this world? What can people that believe in love do?

I think nobody is perfect for this reason pardon is necessary. I guess nothing is secure for this reason I believe love can exist.

And if you think love and pardon are naive topics I tell you that those can change the world. They are the most revolutionary acts people can do.

But what others exploitation of these traits? Should we let others maliciously take advantage of these “weaknesses”?

I can say that it depends on the state of the situation. I could say sometimes yes, sometimes not. There are no fixed rules. It’s a skill that is learned by experience.

Anyway, what matters the most is that love can exist. What follows is a divine consequence.

Love and pardon should come in a natural way and nobody can be forced to love or pardon. The problem is that people who have these skills are often seen as weak people and so they feel about themselves.

I propose to shift the paradigm. They are the leaders that will lead this world once they become aware of their power. The power to heal the world.

In any case, people who don’t have these skills can master them properly. It’s only a matter of time before desires followed by actions will lead you to become the best lover and pardoner the world has ever had.

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Community, Lyfestile, Positive Post, Team

The importance of true leaders/L’importanza dei veri leader

I allow myself to point out one thing: in my opinion, the real leaders are not the people who drag you through their charisma, I have seen several of them but in the end, they were slaves of their self-reflection, and led all their followers, slaves of their charisma, towards an equally miserable destiny, all slaves of their own image.

The true leader is the one who leads you on the path of freedom and self-discovery, through a good example, it is above all because he is the first to be a free person who has discovered himself.

This latter category of people may or may not have charisma, but that doesn’t mean he is a real leader.

Many people believe that leaders should drag others towards different objectives. But leaders, leading towards freedom and self-discovery, help to transform society and companies into a more inclusive, beautiful-based, meaningful and fulfilling environment. And, above all, True leaders create other leaders.

Italian Version/Versione Italiana:

Mi permetto di sottolineare una cosa: secondo me i veri leader non sono le persone che ti trascinano per carisma, ne ho visti diversi ma alla fine erano schiavi del riflesso di see stessi, e guidavano tutti i loro seguaci, schiavi del loro carisma, verso un altrettanto miserabile destino, tutti schiavi della propria immagine.

Il vero leader è colui che ti guida sulla strada della libertà e della scoperta di sé, attraverso il buon esempio, è soprattutto perché è il primo ad essere una persona libera e che ha scoperto se stesso.

Quest’ultima categoria di persone può avere o meno carisma, ma ciò non significa che sia invariabilmente un leader.

Molte persone credono che i leader dovrebbero trascinare gli altri verso obiettivi diversi. Ma i leader, guidando verso la libertà e la scoperta di sé, aiutano a trasformare la società e le aziende in un ambiente più inclusivo, bello, significativo e appagante E sopratutto i veri leader, creano altri leader.

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Community, Lyfestile, Positive Post, Relationship, Team

I still believe

The world is collapsing. Under the weight of pollution, intolerance, selfishness and violence.

Strangely and I don’t know why I still believe in people. I think that people will understand the repairing value of love, freedom and pardon. But, at the moment, we carry the burden of our heavy legacy. Our mind is obfuscated, our heart is insensitive, our instinct is too disconnected from who we really are, and our spirituality is dead or too utilitarian and these make our relationship meaningless. So we have to fill this gap, we should recover our real selves from this heavy burden that we carry on our souls and relearn to relate to each other, always honestly, but with compassion, love and pardon.

What binds us shouldn’t only be selfish interests but mainly the interest to know each other, to deepen the relationships in order to obtain a better understanding of ourselves and the world surrounding us. This is a risky activity that puts us out of our comfort zone. This is an enterprise. But the action is worth it.

When we eventually reach this awareness we should start to treat each other with the needed care and this in the last instance leads us toward love. We’ll see, thanks to a better understanding of the world, that we are all humans in the same boat. That’s we all have fragilities, broken sides and flaws. With no exclusion.

But this process has to happen naturally. No one can be forced to acquire knowledge against their will. Nor especially to love.

I think the world is ready to acquire the awareness that honest, and not forced, kindness is the only way to reach the goal of peace and prosperity. We are people and it’s supposed we should live in harmony. That object is not unreachable but by pacific discussions and debates we could improve and this will make us succeed.

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Domain Driven Design, Software, Team

Software Development – Domain Drive Design

I bought a book about DDD (Domain Driven Design). It’s about this software development methodology. It seems pretty interesting. I’m still at the beginning what I have understood is that developers should work alongside domain experts. This allows developers to distil knowledge from domain information to build a model. This model will be used in software prototyping and/or implementation. This implementation lets refining the model through domain experts’ feedback. The refinement triggers software modification so we can iterate through this process. All the process allows improved models where terminology is always more defined between domain experts and developers that will be used for significant improvements.

Important elements of the process are continuous learning and prototyping/implementations. These allow developers by domain experts’ feedback to validate what they have learned about the domain. On another side they allow domain experts to learn about the rigorous world of software development.

A key principle of DDD is that developers must learn about the domain by working alongside the domain experts that learn about software modelization.

So, what I think, and this is my personal conclusion, is that developers should care about their products and stakeholders. They cannot think to do only technical knowledge acquisition, or get the knowledge of the domain only from the analysts. They cannot ignore the domain. They must have a knowledge of the model as clear as possible.

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Community, Lyfestile, Positive Post, Relationship, Team

How I cure Existential Life Instability

I would talk about something more concrete today, but what? I believed true things that now appear smoky. What is true? What is false? The world is so ambiguous this night. I have tried to make up order in this chaos but I haven’t succeeded. I live in existential instability. And I have to work out it! I have tasks to accomplish, people to care for, my life to maintain, and a world to improve. However, I have reached many objectives that made my life liveable. But I am ready to jump from tangent to tangent. Because I own nothing, only my soul. And it’s my soul the only thing I have to care about. But how do I conciliate this fact with the fact I have to sort out my life? Simply, the important is that I live with love and compassion for others but for myself too. For this reason, I have to set boundaries sometimes. I care for my own life as much as I care for the life of others. As Jesus said: “Love your neighbour as yourself”, that’s all.

So curing life’s existential instability with love and compassion is the recipe, for a better and more prosperous world. Every relationship and every situation will work out with these two ingredients, even though the path is not linear. But where we’ll come at the end? Nobody knows the answer. I go only for the pleasure of going. And during this going, I try always to do my best. And this makes me a man of knowledge. This makes me an impeccable man.

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