Lyfestile, Positive Post, Relationship, Team

A way to acquire the skill of love

Love is a skill. In order to be able to love others, you need to acquire it through a journey of transformation to rebuild a new heart (or to recover the real one). But how can we face this journey?

Simple, being ourselves. It could seem easy but it won’t. Revealing ourselves for what we are and not hiding it because of fear is one of the most difficult tasks, you could have ever faced.

For many reasons, first of all, the real consequences this revealing could have. Exposing ourselves can lead us to bad judgements by others for example. Or it could damage our reputation. And many other issues.

So, how can we face this exposition? This could be the tricky one, I call it to follow the spirit, it will lead you.

But if you don’t know what the spirit is, you never can follow it, maybe. Spirit is a path of easiness, integrity, judgment-less, and the capacity to see the world through the eyes of others.

Following the spirit can lead us to many difficult situations, but with help of the spirit, we can manage them easily. Piece of cake.

In this way, we can conquer the integrity of ourselves that is the fact that we are made of love. Love is our real nature. And it helps you a lot in life because love is in harmony with everything.

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Lyfestile, Positive Post, Relationship, Team

For the sake of Love

I’m able to switch between different points of view. This makes me a smart man. But in order to be wise, I need to use this capacity for noble purposes.

Wise people would build greatness not only about themselves but even about the world where they live.

They look at the general picture. They don’t care only about themselves but they are really able to stay in the shoes of others and make decisions in such a way properly.

Those who care only about their selfish interests are neither wise nor deserve a good life. These people are doomed to a miserable life at least until they don’t change their attitude toward life and the world in general.

Because a life without feeling love is always a miserable life, even though you are the richest man in the world.

But is this affirmation true? How can we know I’m saying the truth. Of course, this is only a point of view.

But as my personal preference, I prefer people led by love rather than interests. And love has no limit nor boundaries.

Exploring our relationship with love is the most interesting task ever. I love people, and as one of my preferred novels said (the Gospel): “love your enemies”, so I try to love even them.

As always Jesus Christ said: “love is the unique commandment”. And if you love you are even willing to help others and sometimes, if the situation requires it, able to sacrifice yourself.

But what if we don’t feel the love?

In this case, always the Gospel says that God will change our hearts, and It will donate us a new one. So it’s a path of transformation. We have to give up everything for the rule of love, and we will be led into a path of transformation that lasts all eternity because learning to love has no end.

We should choose if we want to engage on a path of transformation towards love only for sake of love or perish on a path of hate, envy and other bad feelings.

Love is freedom, so the only commandment we have is to follow our natural attitude which is to improve for the sake of love.

And at the last, but not least love opens the doors of paradise, here on earth. Even if you don’t receive material benefits from love, you will receive something more important: the sacred spirit. And being in the heart of our creator is the best gift we could ever receive.

Just love, that’s enough. But always ask yourself if your love is real love or a stupid, arrogant thought to deserve paradise even when we are the most miserable people in the world.

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Relationship, Team

Being with our feet on the ground

I have always dreamed about meaningful relationships but now know those relationships are nothing without boundaries.

When you set up a deep connection with someone, if boundaries are not set up correctly, the just-made relationship will not work out.

Often these boundaries are not willingly respected so it’s our responsibility to keep them up and working.

And as long as you desire your boundaries should be respected so you have to respect others’ boundaries.

This topic is controversial because keeping the correct level of boundaries is often a subjective way of thinking.

So respect and demand respect, there is no other way to acquire deep connections and meaningful relationships.

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Community, Lyfestile, Positive Post, Relationship, Team

What if building meaningful relationships is not possible or not useful?

Sometimes we feel as if our relationships aren’t fulfilling. So in this case what we can base our life on? Many people refuge in God, money, career, power, a sense of superiority, or unkindness. But I think, think these “things” aren’t the answer. I think the answer is to try another way to build our relationship because dissatisfaction is a sign that we are doing something wrong. We shouldn’t give up, there is always another way to accomplish the same goal. And another important thing is that we should care about one of the more important relationships we have, such as ourselves.

So, try harder or let it go, it depends, but do not give up. Because better relationships are what we need, it’s what the world needs.

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Lyfestile, Negative Post, Positive Post, Relationship, Team

Sometimes is harsh necessary?

I think that to be sweet is a very good option. Being patient and kind is a great skill that we should acquire. But sometimes reality is harsh. And we should communicate this harsh part of reality too. We don’t live in a perfect world, where everyone is honest, kind, or altruist. Besides people often refuge in a utopic, ego-centric world and they consider themselves too important.

If you care about someone, you need to shake this aspect of reality or human behavior sometimes. If you make people think that they are too important or that everything will work fine even though wrong behavior, you aren’t caring about that person anymore.

We need to speak the truth sometimes and this truth is often, inevitably, expressed brutally. It’s very difficult not getting things personally when you are communicating the truth, (or at the least, “your truth”) to other people. Often conflicts arise. But these conflicts are necessary for us and other people to grow.

I think a great objective I can put in my life at the moment is to be assertive avoiding as much as possible being brutal. And above all, I shouldn’t get things personally and always remember I could be wrong. In this way, I can improve myself and the people I’m connected with.

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Lyfestile, Positive Post, Relationship, Team

Good behavior and interest

I always note people that claim that their good behavior leads to financial or gain some kind of interest. So I figure out that such kinds of people will behave badly if it meets their interests. They aren’t genuinely good. I think that a lastly and long good behavior is assured only by people that are sincerely and purely good in their heart. I, personally, trust such kinds of people. But I don’t trust the former.

On the other side, there are people that behave badly because “life hurts”. They are good inside but they have learned to be bad because it’s not easy to keep good behavior when we are surrounded by bad behaviourers. In fact, we can learn to be bad or good, it depends on many elements.

I think that a work environment rich with good and motivated people enriches you and makes you happy. For this reason, I love employers that inspire the employees in such a way. They build a company not only for earning purposes but a company that makes a difference. A company to be proud of.

Are you happy if you have a lot of money and make others’ lives miserable? I think not.

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Lyfestile, Team

Teamwork

There are people that think that developing is a standalone job and every developer should figure out everything on their own. But, from my point of view, these people miss an important part of a developer’s job: teamwork. In fact, when you experience real and inclusive teamwork what you learn is that teamwork is made up of continuous debating that leads to learning a lot from each other every day.

Besides, there are many other aspects we should consider and learn when we come to teamwork:

First, succeeding to be kind is always a good achievement and it’s not easy at all, but human relationships are very important inside teams and the price to pay for a rude contact is to ruin such kinds of relationships. Besides, there are people that say that speaking the truth can ruin relationships, but this is not totally correct. The fact is that it depends on the way you say the truth. Many times, what we lack is the ability to speak and truth (a to be assertive) in a clear and respectful way. Instead often when we come to speak the truth we became nervous and so we appear unrespectful. This is an important skill that should be learned.

Second (but related to the first point), the ability to succeed inside a team lies in the ability to build strong and deep connections and relationships. And in order to reach such a goal, we need to communicate. Speaking could be a good means to communicate but it’s not the only one. What we really need in order to communicate (even though it could seem unrelated) is a sincere desire to contribute to the general wellness of the person, company, community, or institution we want to connect with. And in order to achieve such a goal we need to engage in a personal development path.

At last but not least, surely teams where we land are not perfect, surely they could have a lot of flames but we should think we’re not helpless. We can give a great contribution to improving the team. I know, it’s not easy but what a team needs is dreamers and people with purpose, and if you are one of them even though you could encounter a lot of issues (they could be fixed with patience, humility, and kindness) you will succeed. On the rest, every single step, even if the smallest, is however a step towards improvement.

However, we should keep in mind, that if the team doesn’t fit with us, we could leave and find another team that better fits with us. We should have always cleared our purpose and checked them against the team’s purpose but this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give our contribution to the team we are now.

Teams are made of people, and people are, in the last instance, what we should care about.

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