Community, Lyfestile, Positive Post, Relationship

The Battle Against The Self-reflection

In our society, specific values predominate, such as wealth, beauty and, superior attitude, social status. All of these values have one thing in common. They are all values that make us feel superior. So we struggle to achieve these goals because, ultimately, we want to be superior to others.

But why do we need to feel superior to others? This is connected to the image that we have of ourselves and that we want others to have of us.

We want to have an image of ourselves that satisfies us. Also, How many times have we found ourselves feeling a blind fury because someone dared to break the mirror that we find ourselves inside? How many times are we sad or, even worse, depressed when we think that our reflection is irreparably compromised? How often are we threatened because we perceive that others think something about us that we don’t like?

So what to do? I think what to do is a personal choice. Because the battle against the reflection of oneself is a battle with no holds barred. And everyone must be free to face it as they see fit. Sometimes you have to give him rope because the image of himself is so strong that sometimes we have to force him to win.

However, I believe that with a bit of back and forth, gaining more and more awareness and gaining experience, this is a battle that can be won. But why should we win it? Why don’t we just care and stay at the mercy of our reflection and what others think?

Simple, because you live badly. Prisoners in a cage that we have built ourselves. Therefore if a man wants to be free and experience true freedom, and not the illusory one which consists in thinking he is superior, he must get rid of the self-reflection.

Furthermore, if we count all the evil things that man does and has done in the name of vanity, we will understand that there is also a social reason.

And when a man gets rid of this reflection, he will see who he really is. And once he knows who he really is, he will never be able to go back. Luckily, I might add…

Community, Lyfestile, Relationship, Team

Sincerity and formality

It is not possible to be 100% ourselves at all times. Our environment, experiences, and the people around us constantly influence and shape us. Additionally, certain social norms and expectations affect how we behave and communicate. However, it’s essential to strive for authenticity and to be true to ourselves as much as possible. By being aware of these influences and making conscious choices. Can we ensure that our true selves are represented in our interactions with others?

Finding the balance between formality and sincerity can be difficult, but there are some things you can do to achieve this goal:

  1. Know your audience: it is crucial to understand who you are talking to and to adapt your language and tone accordingly.
  2. Be yourself: avoid being someone you’re not to appear more formal. Sincerity and genuineness are much more appreciated.
  3. Use appropriate language: choose the right words for the context and for your audience.
  4. Show empathy: put yourself in other people’s shoes and try understanding how they may feel. This will help you communicate more effectively.
  5. Be flexible: Adapting your communication style based on the situation is vital in finding the balance between formality and sincerity.

Remember that finding the balance is continuous and requires practice and experimentation.

AI, Community, Community, Positive Post, Relationship, Team

Making effective criticisms

A more critical aspect of being a good person is the ability to recognize when one’s actions are not in line with their values and to take steps to make amends. This could involve apologizing to those harmed, taking responsibility for one’s actions, and consciously attempting to change one’s behaviour in the future. Above all, it’s essential to be honest with yourself about your own behaviour and to take a critical look at your actions, being open to constructive criticism from others and trying to learn from it.

Constructive criticism is the feedback that aims to help the person improve their behaviour, skills or attitude. Some traits of constructive criticism are:

  • Specific: It addresses a particular behaviour or issue rather than general or vague statements.
  • Objective: It is based on observable facts and evidence rather than personal opinions or emotions.
  • Respectful: It is delivered in a respectful and non-judgmental manner, without personal attacks or insults.
  • Helpful: It provides specific suggestions or recommendations for improvement rather than just pointing out what is wrong.
  • Timely: It is delivered at an appropriate time and in a proper setting, rather than waiting too long or bringing it up at an inappropriate time.
  • Focused on improvement: It aims to help the person improve rather than just criticizing for the sake of it.

It’s important to note that receiving constructive criticism can be difficult, and it may be hard for the person to hear it. It’s also vital for the person giving the complaint to be aware of their own tone of voice and body language and to be sensitive to the person’s feelings.

It’s important to remember that constructive criticism is an essential tool for personal and professional growth; it can help to identify areas that need improvement and to guide the person towards positive change.

It can be difficult for some people to give constructive criticism to others, even if they can receive it themselves. There are a few reasons why this might be the case:

  • Empathy: Giving constructive criticism can be difficult because it can be hard to separate one’s feelings from those of the criticised person. If you empathize with the person and understand how they might feel when receiving criticism, it can be hard to bring yourself to deliver it.
  • Fear of Conflict: Some people may avoid giving constructive criticism because they fear it will lead to conflict or hurt feelings.
  • Lack of skills: Some people may not have the skills or knowledge to give constructive criticism. They may not know how to phrase things helpfully and respectfully, or they may not know how to give criticism without hurting the other person.
  • Fear of rejection: Some people may avoid giving constructive criticism because they fear that the other person will reject it or will not be open to it.

You can build your confidence by giving constructive criticism to address this gap. You can practice with people you trust, like friends or family members, or role-play with colleagues or friends. You can also try to educate yourself on how to give constructive criticism respectfully and helpfully and consider the other person’s perspective and feelings when giving it. You can also try to focus on helping the other person improve rather than avoiding conflict or rejection.

It’s also important to remember that giving and receiving criticism is a skill that can be learned and developed over time with practice and patience.

Understandably, your mood can affect the way you give criticism. Here are a few things you can do to address this issue:

  • Timing: Try to give criticism when you are calm and composed rather than when you are stressed or upset.
  • Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing or meditation before giving criticism to help you stay calm and focused.
  • Be prepared: Plan what you want to say and anticipate any potential objections or reactions the other person might have.
  • Be specific about what the other person did and how it affected you. Avoid generalizations and use “I” statements instead of “you” statements.
  • Be non-judgmental: Avoid using judgmental language or tone of voice when giving criticism. Instead, focus on the facts and on specific behaviours you would like to see change.
  • Be open-minded: Be open to hearing the other person’s perspective and be willing to consider their feelings and experiences when giving criticism.
  • Be supportive: Let the other person know that you care about them and are there to support them as they work on improving.

It’s also important to remember that giving criticism can be difficult, and it’s OK to take a step back and rephrase your words if you feel that your mood is affecting how you’re giving the criticism. It’s also OK to ask for some time to cool down or return to the conversation later.

Taking care of your own well-being and practising self-compassion are also essential. It’s OK to make mistakes and not get them right every time. It is necessary to learn from them and keep trying to improve.

If you give criticism and later discover that you were wrong, it’s vital to acknowledge your mistake and apologize to the person you criticized. Here are a few things you can do:

  • Take responsibility: Acknowledge your mistake and take responsibility for it. Avoid making excuses or blaming others.
  • Apologize: Apologize to the person you criticized for any harm or discomfort your criticism may have caused.
  • Make amends: Offer to make amends, such as helping to correct any damage or confusion your criticism may have caused.
  • Learn from it: Reflect on what you learned from the experience and consider how you can avoid making the same mistake in the future.

It’s also important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s not a personal failure but an opportunity to learn and grow. It’s also important to be open to feedback and to admit when you are wrong.

It’s also a good practice to try to understand the other person’s point of view and to be willing to consider their feelings and experiences when giving criticism. This can help you to avoid making mistakes in the future and to offer criticism more effectively and compassionately.


Thought’s about contemporary world

Recently I have heard people debate about suicide of young people, here in Italy. There are many different opinions: those blaming society and those the victims.

I think that the correct answer resides in between the two opposites. Today society is too consumer oriented, too valueless.

People don’t find in it reasons to hope that it could improve. But is it true?

I think our society is migrating from the old to the new, making victims. But this has happened, accordingly to history, to every society big change. Besides there are things like ties between Occidental society and the rest of the world that complicate further the things. So more than blaming society I would blame history but history is not blamable.

On the other side, a singular person of today world has their own responsibilities. And even them sprout from ancient historical reasons.

So we shouldn’t look for someone to blame, but we should look for a set of solutions. That we can only implement this if we work together in trust. And these solutions start from the free dialogue capacity we should have. But we are in a moment in history where if people can’t speak freely to each other, they won’t find any solutions.